Why? Because fear, of some sort, quite possibly may be holding you back from your joy as well as your success, as well as your deepest and truest you. When we are afraid, we contract. We close off and become smaller even in tiny ways. When this happens, we are obviously not growing. When we grow there is an openness and a more. Fear does not allow openness or inner growth. Fear controls and contracts. It does not liberate and expand. What does liberate and expand? When there is an absence of fear what is there? We can’t realize what is there until we begin to root out and dissolve the fear in us. When we do that then we see what is there and it’s propelling and very powerful, and deep, but this doesn’t mean anything until we do it. What’s real is when we do it and begin rooting out and dissolving fear in ourselves because then something has actually happened. How do we do this? How do we root out and dissolve fear? This is where a little bit of work comes into play. This is the action step versus just reading about it and being interested.
The first (powerful) step is to be able to recognize when we are afraid and get to know this feeling in ourselves so we can recognize it and then do something with it. We can’t dissolve fear within us until we recognize it. I know what fear feels like in me. I used to not be able to recognize fear within me even though I was afraid at least 50% or more of the time of something or another. How can that be? How could I be so afraid so often and not recognize it as fear in me? It’s called being cut off from my feelings and if I did feel afraid, I never thought of it as fear. I may have never thought of it as fear but it sure as hell was. Not only did I not know it was fear (mainly because I wouldn’t be honest with myself) but I tried to get the hell away from whatever that was as quickly as possible. Therein was the lost opportunity to connect deeply and profoundly. Choice did not exist. Choice did not exist because I hightailed out of there when that whatever thing (feeling) showed up in me. When you rush to flee are you choosing? You are not choosing. You are panicking. It makes sense that you would panic because it does not feel natural to sit with fear. The message fear naturally delivers is get out of there! Or it delivers the message “Fight”. If we flee or fight, we don’t get to know the fear or how it affects us inside. It’s very hard to just allow fear and follow how it affects us inside. Just try and you will see. So, how do you do it. The first step is to desire to. If you don’t desire it, you won’t really try and then it won’t happen. Okay, so you desire it because you want something different for your life and you’re willing to try this to see if something different can come about for you. You want this because you are willing to accept that perhaps rooting out and dissolving fear inside you may bring peace, fulfillment, happiness, and even success, and maybe even more. You don’t know if it is true or not, but you will never know until you give it a shot and try and see. Okay, so the first step in allowing fear in us and then following how it affects us inside is to decide that you want to be able to do that. The next step is to start experimenting. It’s just like when you try something new. You just start trying, just like riding a bike or anything. When we experiment, it may feel clumsy and unsuccessful and awkward. That is how you start. You start by jumping in and trying and experimenting. So, don’t try to do it perfectly or right. So, the way to recognize fear in you is to start being aware of how you feel. Ask yourself, how do I feel right now? Then just kind of feel that feeling or sort of intentionally let it be there. When you get in the habit of that in general then it makes doing it with the fear feeling a little more doable. When you ask and then allow it more so and let it kind of take you and keep breathing and trust and hang in there with it then you’re starting to do it. The fear feeling will try to make you feel like this is wrong to just let this be here and to move closer to it. Just allow that feeling and move into it as well. What happens is not your responsibility when you allow the feeling and move closer to it with your being. You may feel like you have to be in control of what is going to happen next and that you have to have the answer out of this. Practice not falling for that. Practice letting whatever thought and whatever feeling is there at that instant to just be there if it wants to. Let it do what it wants. If it wants to hang around then let it and move closer with curiosity. If it wants to leave, then allow that as well. This is not up to us what we feel or think next. Our job is to be with what is when it is and keep breathing and keep practicing in allowing it to be there and maybe moving closer to it, having a curiosity about it. Ask yourself what this is as if you have never felt it before and keep feeling it as much as you can for as long as it is around. We always want to be in control including being in control of what we feel next or getting out of what we are presently feeling if it scares us. Practice resisting the impulse to get out of the feeling that scares you. Practice allowing it and looking at it and breathing and allowing and feeling it more. Feel it. Feel it. Feel it. Sit up straight and look at it and feel it more intentionally while never losing your seat no matter how scary, sad, bad, or hopeless. That’s the work. The work is practice more than anything. Keep coming back. Discover your core by allowing all of your feeling. Whatever is there let it be there. Feelings and thoughts come and go and are not up to us. It is up to us to allow them to be there if they want to be. It is up to us what we do, not what we randomly think or feel at any time. Be responsible allowing and be responsible choosing our actions not necessarily based on our thoughts or feelings. Choose to do things in your life that are based on what is important to you in the big scheme of life not based on what you are feeling or thinking in a given instant. Remember not to fight what you feel but practice allowing it and kind of being curious about it like it is a separate entity and as if this is this first time you ever felt this. Ask, what is this, and then allow, follow, and watch. There is no you changing it.