Tag Archives: Anxiety

BATTLE WITHIN

worriesI believe we all have a battle within and it is the biggest and most consistent one we will ever have to fight.  If you don’t think you have a battle within, ask yourself if you ever worry about things you don’t want to or if you haven’t done things that you wish you had.  Obviously, we all have.

There are, of course times, when to work on worries or concerns can be of value, if it is done constructively.  Let’s talk about the Times when you don’t want to think or give attention to your worry.  For me, the Times worry comes to me and is the most powerful in the evening when the day is done and the sun is down.  Worries can come to me in all different forms. Worry may come to me in the form of uncertainty about my future, my self-confidence, self esteem, my value and worth as a person, financial concerns, and many others.  Another time when worry comes to visit in a powerful way is when l don’t feel well, for whatever reason. I could have allergies flaring, sinus issues, a bad cough or headache, or maybe l am just feeling off emotionally, like not feeling very resilient or overly sensitive for whatever reason.

The above are all examples of when worry can be most potent and tend to affect me and, at times, even my outlook on my life.

Don’t you love it when people say, “You think too much.  Stop worrying about it.”  Oh, my God! That is brilliant!!! I never thought of that. How did you come up with that?  Give me a break, will ya?” Man, that’s the person I’m gonna go running to for advice when l feel off, weak, or out of sorts!  You want to say, “Please leave immediately, if not sooner.” So much for those who make matters worse. We could talk about that all night.

I’d rather discuss things that can help the present challenging situation or moment, not make it worse. Here are the kinds of things that help me. First of all, l don’t shame myself or make myself feel worse because I can’t snap out of it. It is what it is. And anyone who doesn’t understand that is really in poor shape internally. When some form of worry comes to me in the evening, l will tell myself that l am not going to think on this at least until the sun comes up. I try to never address a problem of mine when l feel off or really vulnerable. My viewpoint is skewed by my mood and things can appear much worse and negative than what they really are in reality.

I also remind myself that when l do feel better to not address my problem unless l am willing to take action toward improving or correcting it. Otherwise, I am just ruminating and making things worse. It also helps to frequently remind myself that I don’t have a crystal ball and know the future even though I think I do, especially when I am feeling low. Suspend addressing it until you feel better and are willing to take some small action toward improving it even if you don’t know what that action is yet. Being willing to take action and knowing what action to take are 2 entirely different things. For me, being willing to take action now is more important and difficult to achieve than knowing what that action is. It is more difficult for me to be WILLING to take action than it is to figure out the next move. I have found that if I am prepared internally and committed to taking some positive action, then knowing what to do next will show up more easily. The WILLINGNESS to take committed action is powerful, as is the opposite.  

Another helpful tip is to have a reasonable plan and then not let the worry monster jar you. I can have a plan of what I am going to do, and worry can still come on around and nail me into fear as if I never had a plan at all. That’s just the ignorance and arrogance of worry. It helps me to be more arrogant and ignorant than worry, regardless of how it is making me feel, by not engaging in it, no matter how tempting it is or powerful it feels. Get busy doing something. Paying attention to reality in the present moment is another powerful way I have found to combat worry. Immerse yourself in this present moment of reality.

I hope this helps.  Stay ahead of your worrisome mind by allowing it to make you feel not at your best and yet continue in accordance with what you have available (internally) at that time.  If you give it nothing to fight against, it ceases to exist.

All the best to you until next time.  -Gregg

The Power of Not Resisting

free womanAs Dr. Reid Wilson (www.anxieties.com) was saying yesterday, we only have OCD or any anxiety disorder if we are resisting what is coming to us in our thoughts and feelings (automatic thoughts that just show up in our minds and/or feelings that we are feeling in THAT moment, each and every moment).

Think about that for a minute. Don’t think about your particular thoughts or feelings that you hate. Just think about what he said in general. Look how hard we work at trying to get rid of thoughts and feelings. If we WORKED at not resisting them instead, what would happen? I mean, what REAL harm can come to us if we don’t resist what thoughts show up in our heads at any given moment or feelings we are experiencing at any moment? Actually, nothing REAL could happen to us. So how about we cut the resisting part out (work at it), and TRUST, just for a day or 2 or 3, that this could quite possibly be the only thing we need to do to free us from our “powerful” afflictions that we have in our thoughts and feelings.

I can attest to it 100% that when l resist the thoughts and feelings that come to me in that moment, (by demanding that they leave or change), l keep my anxiety disorder in motion. I can also attest that when l don’t resist and just sort of work on leaving my random thoughts and feelings alone, my anxiety disorder really does truly start easing up and backing off. The only other piece l have found is that once l do the above, I then need to get on with my life in that moment (each and every one), regardless of certain thoughts that may be there or feelings that l may be experiencing in that moment.

Give yourself a break and work at not resisting. You will not be disappointed with the results. It’s no more complicated than that.

Inaction

MOVE……..unless you are dead.  Otherwise, no excuse.  You don’t have to wait until you are in a good mood before you move.  You don’t have to feel good about moving before you move.  You don’t even have to know what you are gonna do before you move to move.  All you have to do is move.  Yes, even when you are angry, vulnerable, weak, lost, confused, down, or 100% non motivated.  None of those things are required to move.  To move you only have to what?  And then see what goes from there.

Thinking

When you are thinking ask yourself if it is serving you.  If it isn’t consider pure action instead in the absence of intentional thought.  Try not thinking and only doing the very next thing there is to do only.  Work at it.  There is nothing wrong with thinking but it sure would be nice to not have to.  Try more unabated action instead.

Presence

Fall in love with no resistance to what is and watch what happens.  This isn’t to imply that you never do anything about it.

Anxious? Here is Help

calm-ocean-and-blue-sky_00436339

Be brave, courageous. Let go of being in control and worrying about losing that edge. And go on anyway. That’s courage.

Try to sit with your anxiety. It’s the trying that’s important. The invasive thoughts will occur. Just keep trying to refocus on what you are reading, watching on TV, etc.

You will find out that you can go on in the face of the anxiety, that you will not “Lose your mind.”

Call fear and OCD’s bluff and discover if what you fear is true. Don’t believe anything. Don’t believe your thoughts. Find out if it is true through actions. No thoughts. Fear hates discovery and choice because it unveils the empty threat.

Anything you can do to interrupt the loop will start to create new neural pathways. This is when the hard-wiring that has been going on, because of the anxiety, will begin to stop.

3 Ways to Deal with Anxiety

1) Negative: being intolerant, looking to escape, avoiding, relief seeking

2) Neutral: Ignore, going on with things without responding to the anxiety, just shifting focus

3) Positive: Choose to make space for it to be there. Acknowledge its presence and allow it to remind you as often as need be that it is still there and then do a healthy behavior anyway.

 

Action

If Laziness did not exist,

what would I do today?

What to Do When You Feel Panicky

(Objectify, quantify, assess, & duration)

1) Describe the sensation/experience. What do you feel? – Heart, lungs, muscles,… which muscles feel tense? Create an analogy, i.e. ‘my stomach feels like someone is twisting a towel’, ‘the pain in my head feels like someone is driving a spike through it.’

2) Measure the intensity on a 1-10 scale. Rate the level of anxiety.

3) Honestly ask yourself, can I stand this?…do I have room in my life to experience this right now. Recognize your choices. Willingly enduring the anxiety without bailing out or bailing out and seeking relief.

4) If you decide to endure it, pick a period of time like 10 minutes. If you choose not to endure the feeling, try breath exercises or muscle relaxation or focus attention on an object outside of your body. If it’s not worth the struggle to be tolerant, bail out anyway. That is still available to you.

5) Challenge the experience to get worse. Dare the anxiety to increase.

 

If any of you try this, I’d like to hear how it worked or didn’t work for you.Let me know.

Insights into Fighting OCD

“When you’re going through hell, keep moving.”

Before doing ERP – alter your mindset by ‘wanting anxiety’ and then act on that frame of reference as you engage in that feared situation.

Say to yourself “I can tolerate this happening. I want this to happen, I choose it – I really want it to keep happening – I win if it keeps happening!”

My job is to provoke more doubt, anxiety, and uncertainty than I think I can tolerate.

OCD & Certainty

OCD demands certainty in order for us to be safe and happy. In reality, listening to OCD guarantees us danger and misery.

In living a healthy life we don’t pursue perfect safety, rather, we commit our lives to growth and adapt to change.

Tools for Extreme Anxiety

This will be the first of several blogs where I will share tools that have worked for me when dealing with extreme anxiety. Sometimes a simple statement can make the difference in a day rife with anxiety. Tell yourself any one of these tools and sit with the thoughts it creates….then see what happens. Allow yourself to feel the discomfort. It will eventually dissipate in time and make you stronger for the next go-around with anxiety.

1)  Acceptance that “I am where I am and I’m just gonna be where I’m at and I’m gonna proceed anyway and see what happens.”

2) UNRESOLVED…..leave it.

3) Profoundly allow yourself to feel anxious and  just see what happens.

4) Be and feel weak and just go on with the day….accept and get used to it.

5) The only way is not to play.

Stay strong. I’ll be back to share more another day.

OCD and Anxiety

OCD AND ANXIETY

You are not your OCD

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder consists of intrusive and unwanted thoughts, images, and urges which cause anxiety. In one’s attempt to reduce anxiety, repetitive rituals are performed which continues to feed the OCD cycle and make it worse.

OCD may manifest itself in various ways.

ERP is the gold standard treatment for OCD. It’s the act of doing the opposite of what you want to do during an anxious moment. This may seem counterintuitive at the time but it is exactly what is needed to recondition our amygdala, which is responsible for alerting us to danger. The beauty of ERP is that for the first time we are put in a position of control and choice as it relates to our OCD. At the risk of oversimplifying ERP it can be equated to jumping into a cold swimming pool and staying in it long enough to the point of being no longer cold to you. This process is called habituation where we expose ourselves to exactly what we are wanting to avoid. This is done on a repeated basis until it no longer causes any discomfort. This has been the most effective treatment for overcoming OCD. It definitely was for mine. The more aggressive you are willing to be with ERP the sooner it will get better.

When we are afflicted by OCD and anxiety one fact which is overlooked is that if we allow our anxiety to become at the highest level possible without interruption, it will NATURALLY begin to decrease on its own. This is where the real healing takes place.

Sometimes it may appear confusing as to what is OCD and what is real. One effective technique is to realize that when you feel that you must do something right now before you can go on, you are in OCD land. Another red flag is when you have no sense of free choice in the moment. You MUST do this NOW in order to get rid of this NOW.

OCD causes us to doubt and demands certainty. The problem with a 100% demand for certainty is that no one has that available to them. In OCD our alarm system tells us without this guaranteed certainty we are in grave danger. In reality we are not but to the OCD sufferer they feel in complete and total danger. Quite a quandary. A very effective method in dealing with this quagmire is to work towards increasing one’s tolerance for uncertainty. I know that sounds like a completely foreign notion but from someone who has been there, in time it will not be foreign to you. So the question is how do we increase our tolerance for uncertainty? First of all it’s important to note that we comfortably go about our lives doing things that are uncertain a vast majority of the time. The difference is it is just not the focus of our worry at the time. So the question becomes how do we become unconcerned about things that are unreasonable to be concerned about. The most effective path in accomplishing this is undoubtedly ERP.

UNCERTAINTY and COMMITMENT

Okay here’s the deal,  I’m 50 and have had OCD since I was 18.  It pretty much came out of nowhere, although looking back it’s obvious I had the predisposition for it.  I know I should go in order and introduce myself and tell my story and all that, but today I’m just diving into something that will help me because I am feeling obsessive and anxious today about uncertainty as it relates to life and my well being.  Here’s the content of this particular obsession for me:  I had a very difficult stomach issue about 3 years ago where I had inflammation of the stomach lining. I was nauseous and had no appetite and felt tired and weak due to it.  I also was very depressed because It had just been 4 months since I came off the medicine I was on for OCD that I had been taking for 14 years.  I came off way too fast and the PSYCHOLOGIST that was advising me to come off it had no idea what he was doing in this area. He acted like it and because he had helped me so much in our therapy sessions with exposure and cognitive therapy, I believed him and went for it…big mistake.

Once the medicine was 100 percent out of my system, it caused me to feel depressed and I hadn’t done well with depression in the past.  Then I started feeling obsessive soon after  and now I didn’t have the help of the medicine to help me fight it.  In addition to this was my stomach issue, no desire for food or the opposite sex, the inability to enjoy a glass of wine, and the fact that a 4 year relationship I had with a woman had just come to an end. I was really worked over and did not feel good.  So I got back on medicine and back in therapy and aggressively started doing exposures. I met the woman of my total dreams, whom I am now married to, and I gradually got better.  Furthermore, I started a support group which helped me immensely. I also started a new business.  All of this helped in time and I am now doing well. Today, however, I had a visit from the common obsession that goes something like this:  “How do you know you won’t go back to feeling bad like you did before?What would you do if the worst happened and you got depressed and nauseous again and had terrible pains in your stomach, and NOTHING could help me, what would you do then? ”  I respond in my mind and say , well I could work out and do exposures………and what if that didn’t work?  Well I could check myself into the hospital and certainly they could take the pain and anguish away……..but what if they couldn’t and I just remained in pain and anguish and suffering with deep depression and OCD and NOTHING helped, what then?  So I tell myself, well there is an end in sight because ultimately I would die and I wouldn’t be in anguish anymore.  But what if after I died it carried on forever and ever and anguish and suffering never ended……..what then?  Maybe that’s what hell is and maybe I will go there and maybe….and maybe…..and maybe, maybe, maybe….. .   Beautiful thought process and concept indeed isn’t it?  Just lovely and uplifting and positive!!  Right?  Wrong.

So here is how I deal with the above.  First of all, It sucks.  Secondly, I stopped searching for certainty because that is what is feeding this evil villain.  “But how can I live with uncertainty?”  Honestly, I never knew before and sometimes I get back in that place like I feel the pull is today.  So here’s the deal, I don’t have certainty and we don’t on anything.  First reaction is that  sucks and that I can’t live like that because I’ll go crazy with that kind of fear OR get deeply depressed to where I can’t move and I just sit there and suffer in anguish.   So there’s no certainty…ultimately, and anything could happen……ultimately.   Okay, that’s reality, that’s it.  No that’s not it!   You forgot about one thing here….ME.   You see last time I checked, I have a choice here, as long as there is breath in my body.  So you see, life and reality and afterlife and hell can do whatever it wants to me but I still get to decide what I’m going to do right now…… BIG piece of this, not to be overlooked.  So now this is where I take over and I say “AS LONG AS THERE IS BREATH IN MY BODY, I WILL FIGHT THIS AND I WILL SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE HELPING THOSE WHO ARE SUFFERING WITH THIS.”  That’s what I go with.  So it’s like, if you’re (OCD) threatening me all of my life that you’re going to destroy me, I don’t know if you will or won’t. What I do know is that I have a CHOICE as to wether I am going to live my life to the best of my ability or whether I am going to spend my precious days on earth worried about whether or not you are going to destroy me. I could spend my days ruminating about what I would do or how I would handle it if that happened.  That’s a loser’s game and I get to decide whether I am going to play it or not and SO DO YOU.  That whole notion can kiss my ass!  As long as I am alive I have a CHOICE and I will CHOOSE the courageous, powerful, sensible, life fulfilling one every time.  As long as I have a CHOICE as to whether you take me or not, I WILL exercise it……..EVERY time!  CHOOSE TO FIGHT.