Tag Archives: coping with anxiety

BATTLE WITHIN

worriesI believe we all have a battle within and it is the biggest and most consistent one we will ever have to fight.  If you don’t think you have a battle within, ask yourself if you ever worry about things you don’t want to or if you haven’t done things that you wish you had.  Obviously, we all have.

There are, of course times, when to work on worries or concerns can be of value, if it is done constructively.  Let’s talk about the Times when you don’t want to think or give attention to your worry.  For me, the Times worry comes to me and is the most powerful in the evening when the day is done and the sun is down.  Worries can come to me in all different forms. Worry may come to me in the form of uncertainty about my future, my self-confidence, self esteem, my value and worth as a person, financial concerns, and many others.  Another time when worry comes to visit in a powerful way is when l don’t feel well, for whatever reason. I could have allergies flaring, sinus issues, a bad cough or headache, or maybe l am just feeling off emotionally, like not feeling very resilient or overly sensitive for whatever reason.

The above are all examples of when worry can be most potent and tend to affect me and, at times, even my outlook on my life.

Don’t you love it when people say, “You think too much.  Stop worrying about it.”  Oh, my God! That is brilliant!!! I never thought of that. How did you come up with that?  Give me a break, will ya?” Man, that’s the person I’m gonna go running to for advice when l feel off, weak, or out of sorts!  You want to say, “Please leave immediately, if not sooner.” So much for those who make matters worse. We could talk about that all night.

I’d rather discuss things that can help the present challenging situation or moment, not make it worse. Here are the kinds of things that help me. First of all, l don’t shame myself or make myself feel worse because I can’t snap out of it. It is what it is. And anyone who doesn’t understand that is really in poor shape internally. When some form of worry comes to me in the evening, l will tell myself that l am not going to think on this at least until the sun comes up. I try to never address a problem of mine when l feel off or really vulnerable. My viewpoint is skewed by my mood and things can appear much worse and negative than what they really are in reality.

I also remind myself that when l do feel better to not address my problem unless l am willing to take action toward improving or correcting it. Otherwise, I am just ruminating and making things worse. It also helps to frequently remind myself that I don’t have a crystal ball and know the future even though I think I do, especially when I am feeling low. Suspend addressing it until you feel better and are willing to take some small action toward improving it even if you don’t know what that action is yet. Being willing to take action and knowing what action to take are 2 entirely different things. For me, being willing to take action now is more important and difficult to achieve than knowing what that action is. It is more difficult for me to be WILLING to take action than it is to figure out the next move. I have found that if I am prepared internally and committed to taking some positive action, then knowing what to do next will show up more easily. The WILLINGNESS to take committed action is powerful, as is the opposite.  

Another helpful tip is to have a reasonable plan and then not let the worry monster jar you. I can have a plan of what I am going to do, and worry can still come on around and nail me into fear as if I never had a plan at all. That’s just the ignorance and arrogance of worry. It helps me to be more arrogant and ignorant than worry, regardless of how it is making me feel, by not engaging in it, no matter how tempting it is or powerful it feels. Get busy doing something. Paying attention to reality in the present moment is another powerful way I have found to combat worry. Immerse yourself in this present moment of reality.

I hope this helps.  Stay ahead of your worrisome mind by allowing it to make you feel not at your best and yet continue in accordance with what you have available (internally) at that time.  If you give it nothing to fight against, it ceases to exist.

All the best to you until next time.  -Gregg

Inaction

MOVE……..unless you are dead.  Otherwise, no excuse.  You don’t have to wait until you are in a good mood before you move.  You don’t have to feel good about moving before you move.  You don’t even have to know what you are gonna do before you move to move.  All you have to do is move.  Yes, even when you are angry, vulnerable, weak, lost, confused, down, or 100% non motivated.  None of those things are required to move.  To move you only have to what?  And then see what goes from there.

Presence

Fall in love with no resistance to what is and watch what happens.  This isn’t to imply that you never do anything about it.

OCD Recovery Is Achieved By Pursuing and Doing the Opposite

If you suffer from OCD – that is, obsessive compulsive disorder – you know how your anxious thoughts and worries make you feel powerless and hold you captive. You’ve probably searched for a way to get permanent relief. You know (or think you know) that obeying your compulsions will help you make the anxiety “go away,” but you find that you will just suffer through the whole ordeal once that unwanted thought comes back into your head.

Put this way, OCD sounds like a terrifying disorder that absolutely binds its “victims” and coaxes them into believing that those intrusive, repetitive thoughts will only go away IF you obey your compulsions, that you will never rid yourself of the disorder itself. I am telling you here and now, that is a bold-faced lie, and the sooner you move onto facing your OCD head-on, the faster you will get your life back.

Can you recover from OCD? Absolutely, you can. The trick to doing so is counter-intuitive, though. Instead of searching for the relief you desperately seek, you must search out resilience. Believe me, by seeking out resilience, relief will find you.

How is this done, though? By Exposure Response Prevent (ERP or simply put, exposure), you will come face-to-face with your fears until what scares you the most no longer has a hold on you. Yes, it sounds like exhausting work, but it is so worth it because once you accomplish it, you’re free. Start by taking the fear that bothers you and purposely bringing it to your awareness. Your goal is to make yourself anxious so that you can prove to your brain that the obsession is irrelevant and that you’re done running away. You’ll feel so much empowerment and joy after it’s all over!

You might be thinking, “Really? I have to MAKE myself afraid in order to interrupt the OCD cycle?” The answer is yes, you really do need to. In fact, the safest place is moving toward the fear. When you try to chase it out of your head, you’re doing nothing but guaranteeing its return. On the other hand, when you move toward it, feel it, and embrace it on purpose, you have diminished the power that the obsession holds over you, and it will leave on its own. It’s all about scaring yourself fearless!

As soon as the exposure is over, go on with your life – no matter how weird or lousy you feel. It will give you strength. Sometimes, too, things will happen to you in the middle of your day that make you anxious. When and if this happens, just remember that you’re okay and that it’s another opportunity to embrace the anxiety you feel. Hold onto those feelings. You’ll find that you strip them of their power the more you show your brave face and become a master of your destiny instead of a “victim” of a disorder.

Remember, when you feel like quitting, when you feel like the exposure is way too much for you to handle, don’t stop. You are SO CLOSE to freeing yourself from the anxiety and making a breakthrough. Stay strong. Hold on. Remember always, you are the closest to your freedom when you are the most afraid. Just hang on!

Through your journey with OCD, don’t go it all alone. Do your exposures, go to support groups, and keep trying! You can also find me on my website at www.gregorysansone.com. Get on my mailing list, get in touch with me, and keep making those exposures your top priority in your life. Then will you discover the road to overcoming OCD and regaining the freedom that is yours and yours alone!

Action

If Laziness did not exist,

what would I do today?

What to Do When You Feel Panicky

(Objectify, quantify, assess, & duration)

1) Describe the sensation/experience. What do you feel? – Heart, lungs, muscles,… which muscles feel tense? Create an analogy, i.e. ‘my stomach feels like someone is twisting a towel’, ‘the pain in my head feels like someone is driving a spike through it.’

2) Measure the intensity on a 1-10 scale. Rate the level of anxiety.

3) Honestly ask yourself, can I stand this?…do I have room in my life to experience this right now. Recognize your choices. Willingly enduring the anxiety without bailing out or bailing out and seeking relief.

4) If you decide to endure it, pick a period of time like 10 minutes. If you choose not to endure the feeling, try breath exercises or muscle relaxation or focus attention on an object outside of your body. If it’s not worth the struggle to be tolerant, bail out anyway. That is still available to you.

5) Challenge the experience to get worse. Dare the anxiety to increase.

 

If any of you try this, I’d like to hear how it worked or didn’t work for you.Let me know.