MOVE……..unless you are dead. Otherwise, no excuse. You don’t have to wait until you are in a good mood before you move. You don’t have to feel good about moving before you move. You don’t even have to know what you are gonna do before you move to move. All you have to do is move. Yes, even when you are angry, vulnerable, weak, lost, confused, down, or 100% non motivated. None of those things are required to move. To move you only have to what? And then see what goes from there.
Fall in love with no resistance to what is and watch what happens. This isn’t to imply that you never do anything about it.
I used to think if I took medicine for my obsessions, compulsions, and depression that I was weak or cheating. “I should be enough of a man to handle my problems and not need medicine,” I would think.
How long would it take me to realize that willpower pales in comparison to intelligence? If you’re trying to dig yourself out of a problem and have a lot of willpower, that is good. It is not good when your efforts to dig yourself out only make you worse. In this example it is obvious that you won’t succeed by willpower alone. Rather, it takes intelligence to step back and look at your situation. If you realize you aren’t getting any better by your present course of action, then you need a new course. It is even more admirable and noble to ask other’s opinions, that you respect, as to what their opinion is regarding the course of action you have chosen for your recovery. At least consider what those who truly love you have to say. You don’t have to do it, but at least seriously consider what they have to say. What do you value more, intelligence or willpower?
I value both, but not one without the other. Mules have willpower. Wise people have intelligence which they can use to figure out the best course of action (based on objective data not ego or shame or embarrassment) and they then use that awesome willpower to implement that plan to success.
The real crutch for those of us who have OCD and/or depression is the easy, comfortable, powerless choices we make in response to our condition. Some of those choices can be avoiding, sleeping,isolating, compulsing, controlling, drinking, and many more. Medicine, when used responsibly and intelligently, is no more of a crutch than willpower. We know willpower is not a crutch.
Be an intelligent person. If you are spinning your wheels (based on an honest, objective view point) try another course of action. That is hardly a crutch, rather, that is a refusal to live the one and only life you have based on stupidity.
If medicine seems to be the next reasonable course of action, take it and discover what happens. You can always choose a new course. One of the components of OCD and depression is that we aren’t seeing things clearly. Listen to people that, in your heart of hearts, you truly believe love you and want you happy.
Be the smartest, informed person you can be.
In my personal experience, dealing with depression has been more difficult than dealing with fear. This is not to take anything away from fear, for it can be quite daunting. It’s just that depression seems to have more to it for me. When I was depressed, I would draw conclusions about how the world is, how God is, and how life is… big mistake. When we are depressed, we are actually altered. And what we see and conclude and feel is a result of the effect of the depression on us at the time. So it’s not to be trusted or lived by. One effective method for me, in dealing with depression, is to ACT. ‘Thinking’ is the wrong thing to do. When the therapist would tell me I needed to exercise to feel better, I thought he was nuts. In my mind, I would exercise when I felt better, not before. This is the exact opposite thing to do in overcoming depression. So again, I had to be at odds with myself and do exactly what I didn’t want to do….exercise. Medication was also helpful as was staying in motion. This consequently helped me think less about my depression. Being around family and people that cared about me also made a difference. It was helpful that these people expected me to try to get better. So I didn’t want to disappoint. It forced me to literally push myself further than i thought I was capable of in a given moment while jogging. I really didn’t notice the benefit as much then as I did so 2 or 3 weeks later. I did feel better just not on a very large scale, but I trusted that my efforts would pay off or at the very least I would die trying. This gave me some sense of control which was very important at the time. Enlisting the help of others to call me and check up on me to make sure I was being active and not giving into the depression by sleeping and isolating was very important in my recovery. Starting a support group was also a turning point for me. Connecting with others who were going through the same thing helped me to work harder on getting better.
Depression was the most difficult experience I have ever had to deal with in my life. For someone who is depressed now, my advice to you is to be your worst enemy by doing that which you hate even if the performance is poor. What matters is your asserting yourself beyond the experience you are presently having. This puts you in charge and ultimately breaks through the condition to the point where you start feeling better. Do not feel sorry for yourself. Try not to approach this by being fragile and desperate but rather look it as a war you must fight to the very end. This is what brought me out of it. And always remember the messages, opinions, and conclusions that you form while you are depressed are a lie. Just get up and move.
Never give up unless you want certain unhappiness and certain death within yourself. Life is meant to be lived fully alive, within and without, whenever possible.
You don’t need a guide or manual on how to live the specifics of your life. Things will naturally flow for you once you powerfully determine that you are going to give it 100%. It truly is what you make it. If you are feeling sorry for yourself and bitter and resentful at life and people for the bad events and breaks that have come your way GET OFF IT. The feeling sorry road for yourself is the wrong road. It leads to further sadness, misery, and despair. Dig down deep within yourself, step-up within and without and take your life over moment by moment. Keep your life adventurous, exciting, and/or stimulating for yourself no matter what it takes. You won’t be any good for yourself or anyone else unless you are alive and happy within and outside of yourself.
Keep negative folks away from you that aren’t interested in helping themselves. Move on and find positive and uplifting forces in your life that will propel you through your life in an exciting, fulfilling way. Whatever fears you have that hold you back, face them and work through them. Otherwise, you will regret it when your life is over. You will know that you sold out to the negative and you will realize that you didn’t step-up. When life hits you the hardest, in the pit of your stomach, when you feel like a vulnerable, helpless child with no strength, confidence or certainty…HANG ON. Hang on because this is the final moment you must go through before you can graduate to the next level of greatness. And if you hold on you definitely will automatically move past it to fresh, greener pastures even though they are invisible at that time. The only one that can kill your spirit or ruin you is you. You have yourself to blame only, period.
Find your Passion, your Dream, your Bliss. No matter what it takes, find it. This why God has you here. What you naturally love to do is who you are at your core to a great degree. Find this, claim, honor it, and engage your life with it as much as possible. Surpass the fear and allow it to take you where it may. This will be your contribution to the world. Don’t ask too many questions about it, just try it first and then talk about it.
Life is moving through you and at some point it will leave you. Seize it, claim it, own it, and engage yourself fully in it. This is your gift to God that you leave after life has moved through you.
Don’t let the fear of being laughed at and not fitting in, and failure, and death hold you back. NONSENSE. None of them mean anything. What means something is the caliber and quality of the person you are…your integrity and character. These are the things that are immortal and go on forever affecting generation after generation. You have a huge responsibility to seize your life and your bliss. Because, whether you like it or not, you are shaping future generations by who you are now, moment by moment, day by day.
If you do nothing, you have just done something. There is no middle road. We just fool ourselves into thinking there is. Help the world. Make it a better place. Start with one act, one persona at a time. And feel good about yourself for this because you are living a God-like life in helping and inspiring what he has created. How beautiful and inspiring that is.
Start with the ones physically around you right now. Show acts of love and kindness and empowerment to them. Be inspired and you will inspire those around you. That chain will continue unless you are the weak link that doesn’t do your part.
Look at the miracles that are right in front of you. Really look at them with your heart and experience them. Start with your life. Why in the world do you have one? What did you do to deserve it? I call that a beautiful mysterious miracle. If that is not enough, look at newborn babies and nature and experience them as much as possible. Look for the small miracles all around you.
When you feel your most down, go help someone else. Get out of yourself and move for someone else, even though it may hurt physically and emotionally to do so. This will bring you out of it. You are breaking the pattern.
If you accept life fully, the good and the ugly, then you can’t help but be moved in a deeply spiritual way. Joy and sadness come together as an emotion and you will experience a spiritual groundedness. Accepting and embracing all of life gives us peace and helps to ground us.
We are nothing less than spoiled rotten children if we don’t help to make the world a better place. Help the person next to you and your needs will be met.