Why do we beat up on ourselves when we are feeling off? Accept it. It is what it is. We are human. Some days we feel good; some days we don’t. That is a fact. The only thing to do with that is hands-off. We aren’t responsible for how we feel, good or bad, in any given moment. We only need to do what we have to do that day or how much we can with how we feel. Yes, not letting our feelings determine what we do next is a powerful way to live, but that doesn’t mean we try to change how we feel in any given moment. We don’t control the weather and we don’t control how or what we feel. Accept where you are and how you feel in any given moment and do what you can do moment by moment, and that is it. Don’t get involved with what you don’t control and do what you can control to your best judgment and your reasonable best.
I believe we all have a battle within and it is the biggest and most consistent one we will ever have to fight. If you don’t think you have a battle within, ask yourself if you ever worry about things you don’t want to or if you haven’t done things that you wish you had. Obviously, we all have.
There are, of course times, when to work on worries or concerns can be of value, if it is done constructively. Let’s talk about the Times when you don’t want to think or give attention to your worry. For me, the Times worry comes to me and is the most powerful in the evening when the day is done and the sun is down. Worries can come to me in all different forms. Worry may come to me in the form of uncertainty about my future, my self-confidence, self esteem, my value and worth as a person, financial concerns, and many others. Another time when worry comes to visit in a powerful way is when l don’t feel well, for whatever reason. I could have allergies flaring, sinus issues, a bad cough or headache, or maybe l am just feeling off emotionally, like not feeling very resilient or overly sensitive for whatever reason.
The above are all examples of when worry can be most potent and tend to affect me and, at times, even my outlook on my life.
Don’t you love it when people say, “You think too much. Stop worrying about it.” Oh, my God! That is brilliant!!! I never thought of that. How did you come up with that? Give me a break, will ya?” Man, that’s the person I’m gonna go running to for advice when l feel off, weak, or out of sorts! You want to say, “Please leave immediately, if not sooner.” So much for those who make matters worse. We could talk about that all night.
I’d rather discuss things that can help the present challenging situation or moment, not make it worse. Here are the kinds of things that help me. First of all, l don’t shame myself or make myself feel worse because I can’t snap out of it. It is what it is. And anyone who doesn’t understand that is really in poor shape internally. When some form of worry comes to me in the evening, l will tell myself that l am not going to think on this at least until the sun comes up. I try to never address a problem of mine when l feel off or really vulnerable. My viewpoint is skewed by my mood and things can appear much worse and negative than what they really are in reality.
I also remind myself that when l do feel better to not address my problem unless l am willing to take action toward improving or correcting it. Otherwise, I am just ruminating and making things worse. It also helps to frequently remind myself that I don’t have a crystal ball and know the future even though I think I do, especially when I am feeling low. Suspend addressing it until you feel better and are willing to take some small action toward improving it even if you don’t know what that action is yet. Being willing to take action and knowing what action to take are 2 entirely different things. For me, being willing to take action now is more important and difficult to achieve than knowing what that action is. It is more difficult for me to be WILLING to take action than it is to figure out the next move. I have found that if I am prepared internally and committed to taking some positive action, then knowing what to do next will show up more easily. The WILLINGNESS to take committed action is powerful, as is the opposite.
Another helpful tip is to have a reasonable plan and then not let the worry monster jar you. I can have a plan of what I am going to do, and worry can still come on around and nail me into fear as if I never had a plan at all. That’s just the ignorance and arrogance of worry. It helps me to be more arrogant and ignorant than worry, regardless of how it is making me feel, by not engaging in it, no matter how tempting it is or powerful it feels. Get busy doing something. Paying attention to reality in the present moment is another powerful way I have found to combat worry. Immerse yourself in this present moment of reality.
I hope this helps. Stay ahead of your worrisome mind by allowing it to make you feel not at your best and yet continue in accordance with what you have available (internally) at that time. If you give it nothing to fight against, it ceases to exist.
All the best to you until next time. -Gregg
If your ultimate goal or dream came true how would YOU be different? Would anything be different about your energy level, your sense of happiness, your attitude, your outlook on life and others? The way you would think, the way you would carry yourself, the way you would interact with others, your confidence level? Would you still have the same worries and concerns? So, “act as if.” Act as if you have already arrived. Be that person now and you will arrive sooner because you are being that now and how we “be” determines what we get. Typical thinking has it backwards. Typical thinking thinks the order is: Have, Do, Be. How backward that is. The most powerful and effective order is: Be, Do, Have. By being that which we want, life will change for us and others around us… which will then create more opportunities for us to do that which will cause us to have more of what we powerfully want. As a bonus, by acting as if we have already arrived we live a life of purpose, power, and happiness the moment we choose to begin. Why not begin now? Is there anything to lose? Is there anything to be gained?
If you couldn’t fail what would you be doing?
MOVE……..unless you are dead. Otherwise, no excuse. You don’t have to wait until you are in a good mood before you move. You don’t have to feel good about moving before you move. You don’t even have to know what you are gonna do before you move to move. All you have to do is move. Yes, even when you are angry, vulnerable, weak, lost, confused, down, or 100% non motivated. None of those things are required to move. To move you only have to what? And then see what goes from there.
When you are thinking ask yourself if it is serving you. If it isn’t consider pure action instead in the absence of intentional thought. Try not thinking and only doing the very next thing there is to do only. Work at it. There is nothing wrong with thinking but it sure would be nice to not have to. Try more unabated action instead.
When we get negative or bad news, fear sets in and we tighten up and resist. Instead, next time, welcome it. When we really do this there is a gold nugget in there that we otherwise miss. Try it. Work with it a bit. You won’t be disappointed.
Fall in love with no resistance to what is and watch what happens. This isn’t to imply that you never do anything about it.
If Laziness did not exist,
what would I do today?
The content of your obsession is irrelevant.
Go hard towards uncertainty with courage and wanting it. Don’t protect. Attack OCD’s territory.
Refuse to be comfortable or certain.
Accept and be willing to be influenced by the moment, environment, discomfort/pain.
Be awkward, clumsy, and uncertain. Our brains have to deal with variability: in environment, in movement, in life.
(Objectify, quantify, assess, & duration)
1) Describe the sensation/experience. What do you feel? – Heart, lungs, muscles,… which muscles feel tense? Create an analogy, i.e. ‘my stomach feels like someone is twisting a towel’, ‘the pain in my head feels like someone is driving a spike through it.’
2) Measure the intensity on a 1-10 scale. Rate the level of anxiety.
3) Honestly ask yourself, can I stand this?…do I have room in my life to experience this right now. Recognize your choices. Willingly enduring the anxiety without bailing out or bailing out and seeking relief.
4) If you decide to endure it, pick a period of time like 10 minutes. If you choose not to endure the feeling, try breath exercises or muscle relaxation or focus attention on an object outside of your body. If it’s not worth the struggle to be tolerant, bail out anyway. That is still available to you.
5) Challenge the experience to get worse. Dare the anxiety to increase.
If any of you try this, I’d like to hear how it worked or didn’t work for you.Let me know.
“When you’re going through hell, keep moving.”
Before doing ERP – alter your mindset by ‘wanting anxiety’ and then act on that frame of reference as you engage in that feared situation.
Say to yourself “I can tolerate this happening. I want this to happen, I choose it – I really want it to keep happening – I win if it keeps happening!”
My job is to provoke more doubt, anxiety, and uncertainty than I think I can tolerate.
Never give up unless you want certain unhappiness and certain death within yourself. Life is meant to be lived fully alive, within and without, whenever possible.
You don’t need a guide or manual on how to live the specifics of your life. Things will naturally flow for you once you powerfully determine that you are going to give it 100%. It truly is what you make it. If you are feeling sorry for yourself and bitter and resentful at life and people for the bad events and breaks that have come your way GET OFF IT. The feeling sorry road for yourself is the wrong road. It leads to further sadness, misery, and despair. Dig down deep within yourself, step-up within and without and take your life over moment by moment. Keep your life adventurous, exciting, and/or stimulating for yourself no matter what it takes. You won’t be any good for yourself or anyone else unless you are alive and happy within and outside of yourself.
Keep negative folks away from you that aren’t interested in helping themselves. Move on and find positive and uplifting forces in your life that will propel you through your life in an exciting, fulfilling way. Whatever fears you have that hold you back, face them and work through them. Otherwise, you will regret it when your life is over. You will know that you sold out to the negative and you will realize that you didn’t step-up. When life hits you the hardest, in the pit of your stomach, when you feel like a vulnerable, helpless child with no strength, confidence or certainty…HANG ON. Hang on because this is the final moment you must go through before you can graduate to the next level of greatness. And if you hold on you definitely will automatically move past it to fresh, greener pastures even though they are invisible at that time. The only one that can kill your spirit or ruin you is you. You have yourself to blame only, period.
Find your Passion, your Dream, your Bliss. No matter what it takes, find it. This why God has you here. What you naturally love to do is who you are at your core to a great degree. Find this, claim, honor it, and engage your life with it as much as possible. Surpass the fear and allow it to take you where it may. This will be your contribution to the world. Don’t ask too many questions about it, just try it first and then talk about it.
Life is moving through you and at some point it will leave you. Seize it, claim it, own it, and engage yourself fully in it. This is your gift to God that you leave after life has moved through you.
Don’t let the fear of being laughed at and not fitting in, and failure, and death hold you back. NONSENSE. None of them mean anything. What means something is the caliber and quality of the person you are…your integrity and character. These are the things that are immortal and go on forever affecting generation after generation. You have a huge responsibility to seize your life and your bliss. Because, whether you like it or not, you are shaping future generations by who you are now, moment by moment, day by day.
If you do nothing, you have just done something. There is no middle road. We just fool ourselves into thinking there is. Help the world. Make it a better place. Start with one act, one persona at a time. And feel good about yourself for this because you are living a God-like life in helping and inspiring what he has created. How beautiful and inspiring that is.
Start with the ones physically around you right now. Show acts of love and kindness and empowerment to them. Be inspired and you will inspire those around you. That chain will continue unless you are the weak link that doesn’t do your part.
Look at the miracles that are right in front of you. Really look at them with your heart and experience them. Start with your life. Why in the world do you have one? What did you do to deserve it? I call that a beautiful mysterious miracle. If that is not enough, look at newborn babies and nature and experience them as much as possible. Look for the small miracles all around you.
When you feel your most down, go help someone else. Get out of yourself and move for someone else, even though it may hurt physically and emotionally to do so. This will bring you out of it. You are breaking the pattern.
If you accept life fully, the good and the ugly, then you can’t help but be moved in a deeply spiritual way. Joy and sadness come together as an emotion and you will experience a spiritual groundedness. Accepting and embracing all of life gives us peace and helps to ground us.
We are nothing less than spoiled rotten children if we don’t help to make the world a better place. Help the person next to you and your needs will be met.